It seems to me that I've been having a bit of a renaissance in terms of writing. Like my mind has been crawling out of some sort of Dark Age full of dreadfully dreary depression and hard life decisions. And I kind of like it.
I've always had a warped sense of what writing means to me, both on a personal level and on a career level. I'd kill to have a career solely based on this shit, but let's be realistic here: it's fucking impossible. But yet I always strived on, thinking I was hot shit when all I really was doing was writing hot shit about hot shit. Personally, writing has always been a struggle for me. I was always berated by professors about a lack of style or voice. I was always jealous of peers getting their vastly superior pieces published in small time papers or journals.
Now I kinda see why. Because I always took my writing too fucking seriously. I was always that whiny, selfish pig who would love no better than to get his shitty essays or short stories or top ten lists published or praised and whatnot. I had a sense of dignity that didn't allow me to take the fucking plunge and be adventurous. I was always writing what I felt should be the final word on the page rather than just writing for the hell of it.
And now I realize that I've been playing dumb for the past five years of my life. And so these words exist on the screen. Unedited. Unfiltered. And it's fucking awesome.
So rule number one for me, going forward:
Never edit your own fucking work, you twat.
Also, cheeseburger pizza is a Godsend.
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